I am having lunch with my FBI case officers in a diner in New Jersey. Conversation turns to Richard Miller, the first FBI agent ever arrested for spying for the Soviet Union. One of my case officers, Tom Black, has a theory. He tells me that fat people are more likely to betray their country than skinny people. He cites Miller — “A real porker” — as an example. He names his theory, “The Fat Spy Theory.”

You will also hear the voice of my Soviet case officer, Mikhail (Michael) Katkov, on a phone tap I made. The other tap is of FBI Special Agent Mike Berns. The M & M boys — I got ’em both.

Chapter 9: After All in the After life

On Wednesday, August 14th, I warned my FBI handlers Mike Berns and Tom Black that if the day ever came that I was asked to hand over a classified document to Mikhail Katkov, “I’m not doing it without written approval from the People Down South (FBI headquarters). Their verbal approval means shit as far as I’m concerned.”

“That’s not a problem,” Mike said.

Then I added, “Know what, sometimes I think you guys don’t trust me.”

Mike turned to his partner and grinned. “I dunno, Tommy. What do you think? Is he still lean enough?”

Tom stared, carefully measuring me against his Richard Miller Fat Spy Theory. “Yeah, he’s still OK.”

Time to play with their heads a little: “If I recall,” I said, elbows resting on the table, hands held together like a church steeple (an attempt to look intelligent), “Mr. Miller said he was trying to infiltrate the KGB. Is that true?” An absurd claim by Miller’s defense: a hostile intelligence service is not penetrated from the outside it’s penetrated from the inside by compromising one of the service’s own officers. In the Miller case the only infiltrating was of the FBI by the KGB.

Both Mike and Tom smirked, and Mike assured me that Miller was “not working for us.”

I expressed my sympathy for Miller’s wife and children. “He betrayed more than just his country. He betrayed his family too. In my opinion, that’s worse. How are they gonna live with what he did? While I do favor the death penalty–’

“That’s good to know,” Tom broke in. “When they’re strapping you in the chair, you’ll look out and see two familiar faces. And I’ll be saying to Mike, ‘What did you say that guy’s name was?’”

“But not for treason. And that’s why I want everything in writing so nobody will be strapping me into nothing.”


Mikhail Katkov called me on Wednesday, August 28th:

Go to the following website and click on “9-1” to listen to the audio associated with this post:

I called Mike Berns the next day to tell him about Mikhail’s phone call. We spoke of many interesting things:

Go to the following website and click on “9-2” to listen to the audio associated with this post:

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  1. CB says:

    Interesting reading – good work on the new BLOG.


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